An excerpt from the book Your Soul's Plan by Robert Schwartz.
AIDS is part of the pattern of shame that Jon either witnessed in the South or experienced firsthand. When he received his diagnosis, “it was a feeling of, ‘Well, I got what I deserved,’” Jon said somberly.
Despite feeling that he deserved it, he was nevertheless stunned. “I got in my van. I remember driving down the street, seeing people going about their business. You never notice that, but I saw these people. It seemed like everyone was moving through molasses. They were crossing the street."
"They were going into drug stores and grocery stores and talking on the sidewalk. I passed fire stations. The firefighters were doing something with their equipment. I’ve got all the windows rolled up. I started screaming, ‘Don’t you know the entire world has just changed?’ For me it really had.”
At one point, Jon became critically ill. While hospitalized he had a near-death experience.
“It’s kind of foggy,” Jon said, “but I remember being in a room. It was dark. I was surrounded by a lot of other people. It was like a big cocktail party. There wasn’t any noise, and there wasn’t any conversation, but I could sense that there were a lot of people who weren’t of the same realm that I was. I felt I could join them, or I could not. I distinctly remember choosing not to. It was an internal decision. It was like, ‘I don’t want to stay.’”
Jon chose life. Not just the physical continuation of it, but a new type of life.
“After you’ve been bumping butts with the Angel of Death, you get a little appreciation for where you’ve been,” Jon said. “I stopped feeling ashamed. I did. What I discovered was that as close as I had come to dying, I didn’t want to.”
“Jon,” I asked, “how did AIDS and your near-death experience help you to overcome shame?”
“What other tribulation could I face that is as long a journey through shame?” Jon replied. “The best way to treat your fears is to kiss them on the nose, and they disappear. Almost dying helped me to realize that They—with a capital T—don’t have any power over me anymore. We all know who They are. Neighbors and teachers and all of these people that come out of the woodwork from time to time and jabber at me. They don’t exist anymore.
“All I want is to live and live in truth,” he added."
Jon, what would you like to say to someone who is experiencing shame?"
"The shaming words were solid, immovable events in my life. What do you do with the solid and immovable? You build on it."
Jon’s Session with Glenna Dietrich
As a channel, Glenna Dietrich enters a trance in which the consciousness of another being speaks through her. Some channels are fully aware of every word spoken by the channeled entity; others have a vague awareness of what is discussed though they are not able to recall specific words. Glenna, by contrast, has virtually no memory of the conversations. After our sessions she was curious about how they went and what had been discussed. A very caring person, she always wanted to know if they had been helpful.
It is immediately clear when Glenna begins to channel. Her voice softens slightly; cadence, tone, and diction all change noticeably. Sometimes, as with Jon’s session, more than one nonphysical being is present and speaks through her.
“We are three to see you, as you are three,” began the channeled entity. “We are not of the material world, but of the spiritual realm—as you consider it, behind the veil. Two of us have not been in human material form as you are. We are from the angelic realm. We remain nameless to you, as all our names are not pronounceable. So we appear in your minds only as colors in vague shapes and more as feeling.”
I marveled at the fact that we were now speaking with angels. Through Glenna we were reaching across the veil to the nonphysical world. There was a sweetness in the angel’s tone that I found soothing. The angel’s greeting reminded me that beings in spirit often communicate with us through feeling, and that mediums frequently see the colors of both nonphysical beings and the human aura.
It was common in these sessions for the discarnate beings not to use names. Every being, whether physical or nonphysical, is energy. The term energy signature denotes that every consciousness is identifiable by its unique energy. The angels were able to recognize Jon, Glenna, and me—and one another—by virtue of that energy.
“One of we three has been in an incarnated state many times,” continued the angel. “And this being will now communicate with you directly.”
“Yes, I have been incarnate in your realm 867 times,” said the second angel. “These are the times that I have spent in human bodies. There have been any number of times when I have chosen to spend my incarnate time in bodies other than human. Truly, I have chosen to be one of your [Jon’s] guides as you have incarnated. We have been together many times in many incarnations. We have been sisters. We have been mother and daughter. We have been enemies who have murdered one another. And we have been dear friends.
“In each time you and I have decided where we will meet and in what circumstances we will bring opportunities for one another to have those beautiful growth experiences. We are truly what those in your realm consider to be soul mates. Two souls of very similar vibration—a frequency at which we both have a color and a sound that are similar.
“I wish to say to you that I am proud and happy at the many steps you have made forward in this incarnation. There are many things you have proven and many energies you have brought forth. I have stepped beside you. And at times I have been in front, encouraging you during those times you considered to be the darkest. Yes, my energy is familiar to you. I wish for you to remember, dear one, the beauty of your soul, the incredible light that can come into your heart. It is difficult to be that shining light when most around you desire only darkness. It is the true healer, the true sage, who remains sage amongst those who are not awake. Take heart and remain at courage.”
To me the angel said, “We have heard your questions, but we wish that you pose them to us one at a time.”
“Thank you,” I began. “Did Jon plan before birth to have the experience of AIDS in this lifetime, and if so, why?” Prior to the session, Jon and I had agreed we would begin with the central question. He was as eager as I to hear the answer.
“Yes, certainly,” replied the angel. “There are no heavy energies in this realm [the nonphysical] to impede progress, to inhibit the ability to see forward. The between-times [periods between incarnations] are spent assessing and planning for what the soul considers to be the next step, the next level or plateau. The answer to your question is yes.
“Truly, that which has been discussed was the release of the genetic parent and belief system from the soul group in which Jon considers himself a part of a family.” (As we would soon learn, the angel was referring to a past life of someone in Jon’s soul group. In that lifetime the incarnate personality took fear-based actions that caused a complete forgetting of its origins as a soul—something no soul in Jon’s group had experienced previously.) “Indeed, all members of the soul group came to agreement that Jon would take the essential burden and, despite those so-called distractions or things created by illusion, begin nonetheless to shine, to become that light and begin to see and understand the truth about himself.
“Those [souls] who come together to assist one another imbue their personalities and their perceptions of Jon in a way that brings about the obstacles he must overcome in order for his truth to become apparent to him.” (As you will see in medium Staci Wells’s supplementary reading for Jon, the angel was speaking of members of Jon’s soul group who agreed before birth to shame him as part of his life challenges.) “It is almost like an obstacle race. The more times you come to the same obstacle, the easier it is to catapult yourself over it, crawl under it, or shimmy around it until finally it becomes second nature. When Jon no longer sees himself as less important, less loving, less delightful, less sacred than those around him, the obstacles of this human will fade.”
With these words, the angel conveyed a primary purpose of life challenges: to show us how our thoughts and feelings create our reality. Challenges are mirrors that reflect to us our feelings about ourselves. In that sense, they are gifts. Wisdom allows us to recognize them as such.
“Indeed,” the angel explained, “the body itself is being used to bring about this awareness, to shine light on where healing is needed. And because this has great impact on his soul family and this [nonphysical] realm, it is brought about in an extremely intense and very powerful method so that all may benefit from truths that are uncovered. If another obstacle had been brought up, the victory would not be as great.”
Here we had it: confirmation that Jon had specifically planned the experience of AIDS, not just for his own learning but also for the growth of his entire soul group. As sessions with other interviewees confirmed, the progress we as personalities make on the Earth plane expands both our individual souls and every soul in our group.
“Could you please say more,” I inquired, “about how the experience of AIDS helps Jon to grow?”
“It is the necessity of seeing oneself as you truly are,” replied the angel, “and believing in one’s own truth, one’s own identity. It has to do with the belief that all love is deserved, that unconditional love is deserved. As the soul group involved sets forth only conditional love that needs to be experienced in a particular way—a conforming, a tradition—the [Jon’s] nonconformity leads them to withdraw their love. In this way Jon’s belief about himself is formed: that he is not deserving of love in an unconditional amount, but only to be loved when he performs in a set way, when he meets others’ expectations and others’ approval. Confusion sets in, and the personality that develops in the small child becomes broken apart, split. The disease of AIDS is about splitting a desire for unconditional love with the belief that one does not deserve it. Therefore, healing comes and is completed when the soul of Jon shines through and the personality of Jon sees that light and believes that to be himself.”
The angel had beautifully stated the heart of the spiritual growth process on Earth: self-love is kindled when we cease to think of ourselves as limited, flawed personalities and instead remember that we are transcendent beings. To recognize this inner light is to change thought patterns and, by extension, physical health.
“How did Jon’s soul plan for its light to shine through, and how did Jon’s soul know that would happen?” I asked.
“All incarnations in your realm,” answered the angel, “are designed to move across the baser levels of darkness. There is a vibration of hatred. The vibration of separation from God, the vibration of nonacceptance, the vibration of fear—these things all exist there as hidden levels of a frequency we would equate to sound. It has an effect on human bodies that is unbeknownst, unseen, not measurable.
“You who are in that realm believe that that is you, that you are fear, that you are hatred and nonacceptance. And so you are able to murder one another. You are able to abuse and exploit one another. You act on baser frequencies. As the soul enters the body, the clarity for the most part disappears, and as a human, you begin to believe that you are the body. You cease to remember that you are the soul. This is part of the plan, because to forget your divinity and through many trials remember the truth brings about great power, solidifies beliefs, and uplifts that frequency to higher levels.”
(Jon would later say of this remark, “That is exactly the kind of power I have been seeking. I have been making noticeable strides in reaching for that entity I know is inside me. The experience of AIDS has brought me to believe that my body is threatened but my soul and my being and my awareness are not.”)
“Does this answer your question?” the angel asked me.
“Yes,” I said, though I still wanted to understand how Jon’s soul could know, or why it felt, that Jon’s life plan would bring about such tremendous growth. “Were specific events planned into Jon’s life that would allow the light of his soul to shine through and be recognized by his personality?”
“There have been many events implanted [by the soul] and experienced by Jon that he may or may not recall that are synchronistically involved in opening that awareness to that light,” answered the angel. “This is a gradual process. The human body vibrates at very low frequencies. At higher frequencies a revelation of truth commences. The body is incapable of accommodating higher frequencies at a fast rate. So, people allow themselves only glimpses into the higher frequencies and in that way acclimate the body in tiny increments, making it possible for the cells to accumulate light and bring about higher frequencies in a very gradual way.”
The angel was helping me to understand how physical illness could stimulate spiritual healing. Even so, I wondered why such healing would be needed in the first place. “The shame Jon is trying to heal—the belief that he is not deserving of unconditional love—where did that originally come from? How was it created?” I asked.
“Within the bloodline in that spirit group, it was designed in an individual who was part of organized religion. A religious dignitary of magnitude. That individual’s personality was imbued with calculated imbalance. As this imbalance manifested in that human’s body, it became a mental illness fraught with many fears. As this ancestor acted on these fears, they became very powerfully intact, not only in his body but also in the bodies of his offspring.”
I had learned in other sessions that action on the physical plane concretizes emotion, making it more deeply a part of our being. It is for this reason that subsequent incarnations are often designed for healing. That which is created in the physical is most readily healed in the physical.
“It was a calculated drop into darkness,” continued the angel, “into a vibration so low it had not been experienced by this soul group previously. So in this experiment, genetically through the DNA, this code [the energy of fear] was passed and truly became a far-reaching code that many other soul groups adopted, seeing that it was useful in descending into lower levels of frequency.” The angel was referring to the desire of souls to experience contrast in order to arrive at a deeper self-knowing. “The further distance from the truth of one’s being, the darker it becomes and the lower the frequency.
“As the soul group through incarnations makes it its way through this murky, heavy energy, it clears. [The soul group] becomes cognizant once again of the light, the truth. Its awareness becomes stabilized. Those beings, when eventually they leave this wheel of reincarnation and move into other realms, take with them knowledge of that descent from the light. Does this answer your question?”
“Yes, thank you.” I replied. “It sounded as though you said that the souls in Jon’s soul group asked him and that he agreed to be the one with AIDS, and that the others were incarnating around him to judge him, reject him, and not provide him with unconditional love. Is that correct?”
“That is correct,” answered the angel.
“That seems to be a risky plan, because Jon might adopt the beliefs of those around him and conclude that he is in fact not worthy of unconditional love.”
“Yes, he has in many incarnations. It’s part of the healing of his own soul.”
“Does the soul group continue to use this kind of plan until there’s an incarnation in which the individual concludes that he is worthy of unconditional love?”
“That is correct.”
We had now come to the timeless issue of human suffering. I did not want the angel to feel challenged by my next question, but the suffering in my own life had been so profound at times that I simply had to understand the necessity for it. In many ways my need for such understanding had propelled me to set up this session.
“Why do it that way?” I inquired. “Why not design a pleasant life with plenty of unconditional love? Wouldn’t that be an easier way to learn that one is deserving of it?”
“A balance is obtained by experiencing both the light and the dark,” said the angel. “All individuals who incarnate into your realm experience being both the light and the dark in some incarnation. One may choose to become that individual who exterminates an entire tribe of humans. One may choose to abuse children. All of these things create a level of learning and knowing. This is truly the realm in which there exists a polarity of good and bad. Finding the balance between the light and the dark, the good and the bad, brings you out of that realm, moves you away from the sense of duality, and creates within you instead a belief in All That Is.” The angel was referring to the divine nature and unity of all that exists in the universe.
“Does that mean Jon’s soul group is healing shame through both pleasant, loving incarnations and more challenging ones like the experience of AIDS?”
“That is correct,” said the angel. I felt comforted to hear of the balance in the life-planning process.
“You mentioned earlier a lower frequency,” said Jon, now asking his first question. “How can I raise that frequency?”
“I would say to you, Jon, that the highest frequency in the universe is that of love. And so to hold that frequency for yourself as long as possible, whenever possible, is the secret.”
“What would you say to someone with AIDS,” I asked, “who is trying to understand the deeper spiritual meaning?”
“Remain very open in your heart,” the angel said softly. “Follow that which comes only from the heart, and in this way many healings will occur on levels that are beyond your understanding.”
I would hear similar words from Spirit many times in other sessions. When we close our hearts, we block energies—primarily the energy of love—from healing us. For this reason, the emotional hardening of the heart leads to its physical hardening.
“Of those in Jon’s soul group,” I asked, “why was he the one chosen to experience AIDS?”
“It was his turn,” the angel told us.
“It’s just that it was his turn?”
“Yes.”
“What else is important to understand about the experience of AIDS?”
“It is a plague of your time,” replied the angel, “that points to a pattern of self-hatred among humankind, a culmination of centuries and generations of movement away from Spirit, movement away from light, and a belief in the self as the body and separate from All That Is.”
“Is it accurate, then, to say that AIDS is healing humanity?”
“That is correct,” said the angel.
The complete book by Robert Schwartz is available at: YourSoulsPlan.com