Desperate due to being told of tragedies occurring in her life, she committed suicide and lived to share her near death experience. She also tells of a religious encounter with Jesus in heaven, the NDE being used to give her a message and deeper insight into the importance of her life.
I was 16 years old and had a baby but was not allowed to keep my child. I was told that she died. And I also learned that my boyfriend had died in Vietnam. All I wanted was the pain to go away, so I hung myself in my closet.
I was laying on a cold slab and sitting in a chair by the door watching everyone. I knew all that they said. But still, I was in a tunnel of the most beautiful white color; and it was so white it was like blue white as I traveled in the tunnel.
I recall the aroma was so sweet, a smell that I had never smelled before. It was both soothing an intoxicating. The whiteness of the light was like a big puff of billowy clouds encompassing me, something very pleasant. The music I heard was very beautiful. An instrument was playing -- something that I did not know its sound in all my earthly experience. It also was very pleasing.
Just a Dove in the Hand of Jesus
I was then in the hand of a man that I knew to be Jesus. I was a dove, he was holding me in his hand when he said, "They broke your neck. This I will never forget." I was a dove, with a broken neck, that he was holding in his hand. My neck was bent down to one side, and it just hung there.
He told me he saw everything and that he called me home. He told me he can call anybody home anyway that he wants to, even by suicide. He said he chose me to do this. He chose me because I chose him first. I was in such comfort, something I had not felt before. I saw the river of life, and I walked in it with Jesus. He showed me that there is no death there -- you can pick flowers and they will never die. When Jesus spoke, you knew he had authority. He wasn't loud or angry, but I knew he had authority.
I was walking in the river of life, no longer a dove, and dressed in white. He said I had to go back. He wanted me to know that I was not cast out, but I was being sent back to do something for him. I told him I would. He wanted me to know that I will be in paradise with him, but I had to go back. I told him I would do whatever he wanted me to do.
I was in front of his throne. His throne was massive: it is white of either marble or alabaster. He was sitting on his throne. I was in front of him, and there was a sea like a mirror that I could stand on, and it was azure blue, but you could see through it. It was clear. I do not know what was under the water, but I knew something was under there. I was not allowed to know.
I didn't really want to go back. I returned for him. Jesus told me that many are called, but few are chosen, because they do not choose him first. But because I chose him first, he called me home to do something for him. He called me because he knew that I would do this. He told me that this was planned before the earth was ever made. He knew me. This (near death experience) was part of his master plan. He said the angels in heaven could not stop his plan. So those on earth cannot stop it either. He said that every word that is said never goes away. He told me he saw everything that was done to me, and he would never forget. He gave them a chance to choose, and they did not choose him. I was sent back.
Later I would learn that my child was adopted out and that my fiance did not die in Vietnam. I was in three places at one time: dead on a cold table, sitting in a chair by the door watching everyone, and in heaven with Jesus. There is no time in heaven, and there is no night. There is no north, south, east, or west as we know it.